Place. My Anxiety with Old Stories in Plastic

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve just started searching for all of my old blog posts. I know when I moved from wordpress over to my own hosted domain, that I backed everything up. I think I’ve found that file, but I have no idea how to import old posts or what that could/would/should look like. I JUST found that many of the posts I remember are still here, which I’m so over the moon about!

This is such an odd feeling. But I feel like I’ve just found a chest of old love letters that had been forgotten about. Words and stories that I once poured over 10 years ago, when my kids were Littles. I keep finding files that are filled with pictures of these tiny humans that I adore sitting on an old park bench behind a funny thing they used to say or do.

I’m so very thankful that these exist or they might have been forgotten forever. But I’m sad that I left them all like I did. Shouldn’t they have been protected? Placed in a special spot, wrapped in plastic like my Grandmother’s couch or the little runway paths she had to cover high traffic carpet areas?

I’m feeling a bit melancholy (pronounced like Will Ferrell says it in MegaMind though, with the emphasis on the wrong syllables–that’s the only way I can ever hear that word, ever.) I miss those stories. I miss those times to capture those strings of words. I miss all of the stories that I didn’t write down. I stopped writing and share some because the kids got older and I didn’t think it was fair to them to share my thoughts on their stories without getting their permission first.

I think most of all, I just miss those tiny humans. The ones that loved their momma so big and had to be tucked in at night and didn’t have phones and wanted to cuddle with me on the couch. Now they are big, busy, distracted, and while I’m sure they still love their Momma, it might not feel quite as big at the moment. One is away at school and calls me to tell me all the ways that her world is hard and complicated. Trust me, I’m here for every single bit of it, with an empathetic ear and little tragic optimism. And the other one tesll me when he needs some lunch money and who is coming to pick him up to take him to practice and can he please practice drive to the mall? And again, I’m here for that and just happy that I get more than one word in a text.

I’m also worried about the missing stories. The ones I haven’t found yet. The ones that are maybe lost in the ether somewhere when that domain went away and I stopped paying for the hosting. Where are those stories? What if I forget them forever?

I need to do something with the found ones. Save them. Print them. Publish them as a book of short stories. Maybe a cautionary tale to other Mommas to remind them to tell their stories, write them down. Put them in a safe place.

Maybe even In plastic.

(And thanks Peppers for the sweet Welcome Backs that I’ve gotten! Y’all are sweet!)

Wait. Write Again? Are we doing this?

Honestly. I didn’t think this site still existed. Is it still even connected to WordPress at all? Once upon a time, many years ago when I still referred to my kiddos as littles, I wrote and published almost everyday. And then one day, I decided to move things to my own domain and site. And I wrote there for a while and posted and published. And then one day, it all got complicated and complex and it suddenly wasn’t much fun anymore. So I stopped. Well, I stopped posting and publishing, but didn’t stop writing. I just wasn’t sharing it anymore.

But recently, I’ve decided to make a few changes and in that process, I’m feeling called to write and post and publish again. I’m working on a new idea and started seeking out my old words. I’m finding them all over the place. Tucked into folders on old hard drives, hidden in corners with names that make no sense at all. I’ve started collecting them. Trying to put them all back together, like a class reunion or getting the band back together.

Then. Today. November 1st. I stumbled upon a post made by an ‘old’ blogging wordpress friend who mentioned NaNoWriMo and then immediately and quite randomly, but clearly on purpose, crashed into some ‘old’ NanoPoblano pepper friends. And before I knew it, I was typing the made up word, MommyVerbs, into my search bar. And lo, and behold, my ‘old’, once abandoned, trapped in time, collection of words was still there. With an old design and many tags that I don’t remember, but still somewhat strangely familiar.

And I thought…maybe it is time to dust it off. Just to write. Hit publish. See what happens. Get connected. Read and catch up with a community. So, here I am. I have no plan. I don’t even really remember how to do all the things that I once knew how to do.

But here I am. Are we really doing this?

Review. — 2013 Report Prepared By Those Lil’ Monkeys Again.

Many thanks to the WordPress.com stats helper monkeys who put this 2013 annual report together for MommyVerbs.

They are the best lil’ flying monkeys around. Not at all scary like in the Wizard of Oz. Because they add fireworks. I do love me some fireworks.

MommyVerbs has really begun to grow into its own this year. What started out as a little therapy on the cheap, a few fun stories and a couple of reflections, has now turned into a good friend. A place to come and be. A place to question. A place to share. MommyVerbs has a few official fans now. Beyond my Mom and my Nonnie, even.  MommyVerbs is getting a reputation, and I’ve even heard from a few folks that I didn’t know were connected to it, share that they enjoy reading it. That always makes me smile.  I hope those who like it will continue to share it with others who may enjoy it, too.

And for me,  MommyVerbs continues to make me be intentional … to be real about engaging each day with action words.

2013 also included a few MommyVerbs pieces showing up on The Huffington Post. A highlight for sure. AND MommyVerbs was also Freshly Pressed this year, a goal since this blog began in 2012. I’ve met a lot of good bloggy friends and I appreciate what they add to the conversation, how their writing challenges me, how they help me with my bloggy questions and beyond.

MommyVerbs has much in store for 2014. Maybe a few guest posts. Maybe a new format or design. Maybe even a MommyVerbs t-shirt … or two. You’ll have to stick around to see what happens.

Which is exactly why New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday. It is a new calendar. A blank page. A fresh start.

And to quote my high school graduation speech (which was really quoting “Remington Steele” and “Say Anything”:

“Just think of the possibilities. And…Get ready for greatness, Lloyd.”

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! 

If you are interested, here is a full report of MommyVerb actions this year.  It’s kind of fun and worth the tiny effort of the click. Besides, those ‘lil monkeys worked hard on this. 

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 15,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Collect. — Calling All Signature ‘TagLines’

Last year,  I decided to change my personal signature line.  You know what I’m talking about. The way we sign our letters, notes, emails. I have been a closet collector of others’ ‘tag lines’ over the past year or so.

“Peace and Cheers”
“Love and Light”

I adopted the phrase, “Enjoy the Day” and tried to make it mine. Take care and Enjoy the day. Thanks and Enjoy the day. The idea was to bring focus to really enjoying each and every day. There’s nothing wrong wth that. Let’s really be intentional about finding times in our days to enjoy. Have fun with. Notice. Pay attention.

But then I discovered that it wasn’t enough.

In my professional life, I am constantly talking to folks about actively engaging students in their learning. Whoever does the most work, learns the most. Students have to be actively engaged in their own learning in order to get the most out of it. I swear I say that every day.

And I decided that was what I want to do each day. I don’t want to just enjoy the day. I want to engage it. I want to engage with it. I want to get dirty and make a mess with it. I want to mess up and make it right. I want to pay attention, but actively give attention to it. I want to be an active participant with each day. I want to notice it, but also make a note of it.

I’m here to do the work. I want to learn the most. So for the past year,  I have been using the line:

Engage the Day.

But again…it is time for a change. 

With a new year comes a new tagline. A new focus. A few new goals.

My experiences recently trying to help organize The Giving Tree Food Pantry Angel Tree have taught me some very important lessons.

Lessons about faith.

Lessons about hope.

Lessons about believing.

Lessons about doubt.

Lessons about needs and wants.

Lessons about enough.

Lessons about action.

Lessons about being still.

Lessons about what is important.

Lessons about what is not.

So, I’m playing around with finding a new personal signature line for 2014:

Faith. Hope. Fishes and Loaves.

What do you think?

I know. I know. They are not verbs. But they might as well be.

I figure it might raise a few eyebrows, maybe a few questions. Either way, should be a fun conversation starter of sorts.

So. Now I’m coming out of the collecting closet and I want to know…

What is your signature tag line and why did you choose that? What does it mean to you? What’s the story behind it?

Send me a message or leave a comment and I’ll put together a post, tagging you of course, to share and inspire others!

Happy Taglining!

Faith. Hope. Fishes and Loaves.

MommyVerbs

Haiku. — It’s a Verb Now… A Thing I Do.

The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge: Haiku Catchoo

When I’m out of time

and it is almost midnight

and there’s been no post…

It’s time to Haiku.

Haiku is now an action.

I verbified it.

Afraid to Haiku?

Nonsense. You can do it, too.

You just need a pen.

And a free hand to

count syllables as you write.

Five. Seven. And five.

Never mind rhyme, just

count the syllables and string

your words together

To tell your story.

But you have to be concise.

And use words to … move.

If you are writing,

then it all counts toward your

… NaBloPoMo goals.

Question. — A Prompt to the Rescue!

I have now officially been daily-blogging for 38 days straight. 38 days. I have 3 days left to meet my self-imposed countdown to my birthday.

NaBloPoMo says that I have 10 more days.

We’ll see, NaBloPoMo , … we’ll see.

So, it is 9:50 p.m. after a long, long day AND after just reading a work-related email that just raised my blood pressure by many points and annoyed me to no end.

But, I’m not one that quits easily, so I went to the record store WordPress Reader to check in on my friends. (Name the movie reference in the comments. Random, meaningless points and my endearing movie quote adoration goes to the readers with the correct answers!)

Thankfully, PhrogMom’s Weblog was there for me, to the rescue, with a link to Suzie81’s Blog and her challenge to answer a few questions.

With the clock ticking, knowing that this deadline is looming and being so close to this finish line…

I’ll take it. Thanks to both PhrogMom’s Weblog and Suzi81’s Blog for the inspiration tonight…and saving my bloggy arse at the last minute!

1. Why have you chosen your blog name?

I have always loved action words. Verbs are my favorite. I wanted a name that would help me keep my writing focused on engaging in action words every day. I’m a Mom and knew that most or many of my stories would be about this parenting journey. So, MommyVerbs was born.

2. When you have an hour of free-time, what do you do?

I write.

3. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what would it be?

I’m completely cool with where I am right now, counting down to 41. Bring it.

4. If you could learn to do something, what would it be?

I would love to learn to play the guitar. I regret not learning to play a musical instrument. What an absolute gift it is to be able to make your own music whenever you want it. This is why I am pushing piano lessons on the kiddos…trying to convince them that they want to do this!

5. What would be the first thing you would buy if you won the lottery?

Plane tickets. For four. For lots of places.

6. What is the thing that makes you absolutely unique?

I am me. First child. Type A. People pleaser. Daughter. Sister. Wife. Mother. Teacher. Writer. Entrepreneur-wanna be. Book tour ready. Oh. Not unique?

Well then, here’s something else. I have become more and more claustrophobic as I have gotten older, but I love to have really heavy blankets on me at night. I feel like I sleep better if the blankets are ‘pushing me down’ at night. I think it is also a subconscious way to decompress and wind down after multi-tasky spinning all day long.

7. What is your favorite blog?

I don’t know that I have a favorite favorite….but I am thankful to many new blogger friends here in WordPressland: Rarasaur, Jenn’s Midlife Crisis, BonneVivanteLife, Lead Our Lives, who have made me feel so at home ever since I arrived. And I love and admire the work of Finding Joy and Momastery and I Want A Dumpster Baby and so many others…I could go on and on…and on.

So there it is. #38. In the books. A few questions answered.

It’s late. Call it done. As it is. Done.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

Press. — That Almost Wasn’t. Now On To the Next Thing.

Soon after I first started blogging in the WordPress community, I remember stumbling upon the Freshly Pressed page.

I think back on it now like it was the mystery glowing gold suitcase in Pulp Fiction. I still remember the “oooohhhhh”s and “aaaahhhhs”s I mumbled as I marveled at how these amazing authors were selected to be highlighted on this page.

I was in awe. I loved their words. And I loved the look of their little blue circle W badges on their pages. So pretty.

I even wrote about wanting to be freshly pressed here, here and here. And Ok. Yes. Even here.

But it wasn’t happening. I wasn’t getting ‘discovered’. I wasn’t getting anyone’s attention.

And over the next few months, I began to fully realize and recognize just how…H.U.G.E. the WordPress community actually is.

It is B.I.G.

And with B.I.G., come complicated logistics, making it hard to find my lil’ ol’ blog.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I heard from a precious blogger friend of mine that she was having some struggles because of some unpleasant followers of her bloggy goodness.

So, I began to question whether or not it was worth it. To be Pressed or not to be pressed?

Maybe it was just too much trouble.

Maybe there is something to be said for growing readership organically. Not too fast. But one, by one. Making connections and friendships along the way.

Maybe I should just focus on what I can handle. In my crazy, need to take a pause, tired working Momma kind of life, I should just focus on what I can handle.

Maybe I should focus on  my blog as it is meant to be.

But then.

Then.

I got this beautiful email from WordPress Editors when I checked my phone like I do upon waking at 4:30 a.m.

From the lovely Michelle, telling me “Congratulations!”

And then

Then.

It was all different.

I remembered why I wanted to be freshly pressed after all.

I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach and resisted the urge to wake up the best friend/partner/hubby so early to share the news.

I ran through the internet to get to the post to make sure that there were no typos, no silly errors.

And then

Then.

I smiled.

I. Am. Freshly. Pressed.

I have a little blue Circle W. of my very own on my sidebar.

And I have so enjoyed the little diddleding that my phone has made over and over and over today as I meet new bloggy friends and respond to new bloggy messages.

It is every bit as mysterious glowy gold as I thought it would be.

I. Am. Freshly. Pressed.

Yes.

Now. As I have been saying all day long, ” On to the next thing.”

Let’s all, Go. Do that!

Thanks WordPress. This is a super fun ride. I’m not getting off anytime soon.

Drop. — Balls and Plates and Whatnot.

Well, it finally happened.

I knew this was coming. It was inevitable.

One can only keep so many plates spinning at one time.

Just so many balls in the air.

And today,

I let one fall.

Fortunately, it wasn’t a huge one, more like a ping pong ball.

But as I watched it bounce across the floor and roll under the bookcase, I realized just how much we are all doing.

Every day. We are busy. Our days are full.

And then we go and make our days full of more.

Maybe fuller than they have to be. Than they need to be.

From morning to night, our days are full of action words. MommyVerbs.

Mother. Shower. Cook. Pack. Comb. Brush. Clean. Find. Call. Drive. Greet. Email. Respond. Problem Solve. Eat. Talk. Write. Think. Check. Teach. Help. Support. Text. Care. Blog. Coach. Commiserate. Compliment. Create. Plan. Grade. Connect.  Parent. Listen. Sing. Cheer. Rock. Bathe. Kiss. Hug. Write. Sleep.

And get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

To Do lists that no longer fit on one page, but now have to be kept in notebooks.

And when I look at all I do, I know that I have the power to change it. I could choose to stop.

I could choose to let some things go and have more time to sit and just be.

But I can’t figure out which should go away.

Because there is a part of me that enjoys the juggling and the spinning.

And the consequence of being a spinning juggler is that …

I have to learn to be good… with letting one get away from me every now and then.

I just have to learn to be really good with super glue when the pieces occasionally crash down.

Because all of that…Action.

Is who I am. Right now.

And it’s working.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

Today’s Action Challenge: Take a look at your To Do list.  Is it manageable? Is it doable? Is there anything that you want/need to come off? What’s missing? What should you be doing that you haven’t made a priority? Add that to your list.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

Unplug. — Why I Refuse to Feel Guilty.

I know. I know.

We spend a lot of time in front of screens. We spend time on our phones, on our computers, on iPads and watching TV.

I know. I know.

We are supposed to unplug every now and then.

I know. I know.

We are supposed to get back to nature. Go for a hike. Sit and enjoy a landscape. Explore a new place. Talk… in person… with our loved ones.

I get it. Yes. Unplugging is a good thing.

But.

This weekend the best friend/partner/hubby and I had planned a get away weekend. Just the two of us. We arranged months in advance with the Nana for X and Y sitting. We rented a little cabin in the woods. We had visions of doing some chilling. Some running. Maybe a little hiking. Some exploring. Walking around a little downtown. Getting a little food in a cute little deli. Or a sweet treat in a little bakery. Spending some time, catching up, enjoying the ability to finish a sentence with each other.

And.

We were also looking forward to doing a little work. Not that kind of work work. The work we want to do on the projects we want to work on. Our little entrepreneurial adventures. His business. His website. My blogging. My book. This is the work we enjoy. The work that is the stuff of our passions. This is the work that we don’t often get a chance to do. The work that is fun for us.

We were excited about it. We even talked about it on the way up to the cabin. We talked about this and took time to stop at an overlook to really take in the beautiful landscape.

So, one of the requirements of our little cabin in the woods was that it have Wi-Fi. Access to internet. Which we were assured we would have. Which is why we picked this place in the first place.

And when we arrived. That was the thing that was missing. Well, that and cell phone service. At all. Or even a phone at all. Or food. Or access to any food without at least a 20 minute drive. And that food would be from a gas station.

So.

We walked up to the main lodge to use their phone, since our cells were not working, to call the ‘concierge on call’.

This is when we were greeted by a very unhappy, semi-unpleasant, loud and mostly rude woman who could not believe that we would come up here to the mountains and be so concerned about having internet access. “Why don’t you just unplug?”, she said. “Why don’t you just enjoy the nature? The scenery? The landscape?”

Why can’t we do both?

This was our only vacation. Just the two of us. A little late anniversary gift. This was our time. We planned it. We researched it.  We selected it based on what we wanted. Which was what we were promised. Which is NOT what we received.

So. I refuse.

I refuse to feel guilty for not wanting to unplug this weekend.

If we had come up here to go hiking or fishing or exploring than we would have picked a place to do that.

But we wanted a chill weekend. A chance to do some of our projects that we enjoy working on.

Some of our projects that include access to the internet … and … views like this.

And if the unplugged lady is so inspired by views like this, you would think she would at least be a bit more…pleasant.

So, I refuse. I refuse to feel guilty over not unplugging this weekend.

I am actually quite proud of us for cutting our losses and moving out and moving on to another place that better met our needs.

Because our play-work time is limited.

And if it was not what we want, and we had some control over it….Let’s make the changes.

In order to get what we need to help us do what we want to do.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

Today’s Action Challenge: Design your ideal getaway weekend. Think of all of the things you want to do and build in time to do these. Where will you go? What will you do? What are the requirements of the place you travel to? Do you want spa time? Do you want to be able to plug in or completely unplug? Do you need solitude or lots of others? Organize a travel itinerary and include everything you need to help you do what you want.

Sock. — Saturated in Mismatched Colors.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated

A bunch of new socks

together for the last time

in the girl’s drawer. 

Click here to learn more about our mis-matched sock MommyVerb Adventures.