Continue. — Random Holiday Traditions NOT To Be Monkeyed With.

I believe in tradition.

Growing up with some family traditions gives you a strong foundation. Because you know what to expect. You get excited about little things. You look forward to these little things happening. And as you grow up, you share these traditions, these ways of doing things with others.

Sure, you adjust. You are flexible as you need to be based on events and people and time.

Traditions are a guide. Traditions give you a place to start.

And I believe with all of my heart…that you don’t … “monkey with tradition.”

A line I stole from the movie, ‘Mystic Pizza’, and made it one of my life’s ambitions.

I am the glue. I am the memory. I am the keeper of the tradition.

I feel a responsibility to keep them going. To keep them alive. Even if no one notices or is even paying attention, it is important to me that we keep doing these things.

So here is a list of our random family holiday traditions.

That should never ever be monkeyed with.

Ever.

Christmas:

1. We open all of the family presents on Christmas Eve.

2. Santa brings unwrapped presents on Christmas morning.

3. Our elf on the shelf is named, Holly. I know, he has a girl name, but he’s a boy. Elf’s do that sometimes. Apparently. Especially when they are named by 5 year old girls.

4. Holly shows up on the first night that the Christmas tree lights go on. That’s how he knows to come.

5. The tree always goes up after Thanksgiving and usually comes down after New Year’s Day.

6. On Christmas Eve, the kiddos get to hug and kiss Holly goodbye. But he must be on the tree before bedtime so Santa can find him and take him home.

7. You may not go downstairs on Christmas morning before Momma. She must get the picture of the kiddos at the top of the stairs in full excitement mode.  It’s a Momma Rule. And Momma Rules can’t be broken.

8. We will have Monkey Bread for breakfast on Christmas morning. And we eat our Monkey Bread off of little blue Snowman plates. That is the only action those plates see all year.

9. We drive about 45 minutes to see Santa each year. We meet family friends for lunch and listen to THE Santa sing songs, play guitar and tell stories. It is pure Christmas magic. We believe.

10. We will always give our friends an ornament of some sort as a Christmas present.

11. We will always give a photo calendar to our Nanas, Maws and PawPaws.

12. There will always be 3 new ornaments added to the tree each year: one with a picture of X, one with a picture of Y and one with a picture of me and Felix together. Each with the current year engraved on it.

13. At Maw Betty’s house, we will always hang the “Horton Balls”, handmade ornaments with each person’s name on one.  New additions of babies or unions are added each year.

14. We open presents one at a time. Sometimes we clap for each present. But not always.

15. We watch the TBS 24 hours of A Christmas Story for … well, almost 24 hours. I’m actually sad when it is over.

New Year’s Eve (My favorite holiday):

16. We bring the neighbors some oranges.

17. We eat 12 grapes at midnight.

18. We make our Family Mind Map of Goals for the new year.

Valentine’s Day:

19. Is always Family Fondue Night! A night for us to stay in and enjoy each our family, while dipping random food into chocolate.

Fourth of July aka Y’s Birthday:

20. Fireworks. No matter where we are. Fireworks.

Halloween:

21. We use the classic plastic pumpkins to go trick or treating. No bags or pillow cases for us.

Thanksgiving;

22. We go to an indoor water park on or around this holiday.

Birthdays:

23. You can have Monkey Bread for Breakfast if you would like. You always get to choose the food for the day.

24. There will be a sunrise walk and photo shoot on the beach and I will make you hold up your fingers to show your age. Guaranteed.

25. There will be number candles on your cakes. Not just the number of individual candles, but candles (and sometimes even the cakes) in the shape of numbers. Because they are cool.

And because it is … tradition.

And…say it with me…“You don’t monkey with tradition.” 

You just keep making new ones.

Merry Christmas, Action Worders!

Focus. — On One.

Weekly Photo Challenge: One.

Tonight, we will distribute these 250 presents.

They are all lined up.

Organized by number.

Wrapped. Bagged. Tissue papered.

With brightly colored bows and ribbons.

Sitting pretty.

Waiting.

I’m overwhelmed by this image and the need it represents.

I’m overwhelmed by the number of people who made this happen and the joyful giving of a community.

I’m overwhelmed by the hours of shopping, wrapping, organizing and honestly, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer number of presents and the process we will use to give these out tonight.

So, I’m trying to focus.

Focus on one.

Focus on one present at a time.

Focus on one smile. One excited giggle. One “Thank you.”

Because out of so many,

that one present,

in the red bag, with the cheerful snowman in his crooked black top hat and green scarf,

is for one child.

One child who might not be surrounded by the comforts of … a lot.

One child who might not know safety and security, not to mention, stockings full of stuff.

One child who might squeal with delight upon opening it up.

One child who might still believe in the magic of Christmas.

So I’m going to try to focus on each one. 

Because…

Thanks to so many, Christmas might be just a little better for

this…one.

Need. — Who Am I To Decide?

At this time of year, we are often compelled to give.

Give to others.

Others in need.

We give canned goods for the local food pantry.

We buy presents for children on Angel trees.

We tip better and make lists of gifts to buy for others.

We put together baskets of holiday meals for local families.

I have participated in these collections, in these canned food drives, in these angel trees, in these many acts of gift giving.

And every now and then, I have discovered that someone, some family, some child seems to be found on more than one list for giving.

I discover that they are receiving a basket of food from the school and a bag of gifts from the local church.

They are getting to go to the community center party and getting new clothes and shoes from the local Rotary club.

And I’m a little ashamed to think that I have probably thought  at some point or another, and maybe I’ve even said things out loud like, “See, that is what really bothers me … when people take advantage.”

But here’s the thing I have learned recently.

Who am I to judge?

Who am I to decide?

Who am I to have anything at all to say about who is really in need and who is only kind of in need?

Statistics show that the majority of us are really only six months away from poverty at any given moment …  if a tragic, devastating event were to occur in our lives. (Many of these start with the letter ‘D’.)

Death. Divorce. Disease. Deployment. Destruction. Disaster. Debt. Deceit.

We are all just a few bad choices or one act of very bad luck away from being …there.

And if we ever find ourselves…there…in need. In need of help. In need of the local food pantry. In need of help at Christmas.

If we ever find that we have to show up and get in line and look at others and ask for help. If we ever find that we have to put ourselves and our families on any and every list for help that is available. Then…

We wouldn’t want others judging us; deciding if we are really in need or only kind of in need?

Would we?

No.

Because if we are … there; if we’ve made the decision to ask, to seek out help … then we are indeed in need.

Need is relative. And it is also personal.

So when people seek out help for their needs, it is not up to me whether or not to provide help. It is not up to me to judge whether the need is really needed.

It is up to me to give with a joyful heart.

And do what I can to meet needs and fill wants.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

P.S. I continue to be overwhelmed by the amount of generosity of people everywhere. We are still collecting donations for the families of the local food pantry to provide a present for each child and grandchild. If you would like to help, we are getting closer to meeting needs and filling wants…only need about $1100 more dollars to make it happen. If you are able to help, you can make a donation online: https://secure.easychurchtools.com/fieldstoneumc/

Revise. — A New Holiday Calendar.

Last week, my alarm clock started making its typical noise at 4:30 a.m.

But as I jerked myself awake and reached for the snooze button, I realized the song playing was Wham!’s Last Christmas.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart and the very next day, you gave it away…”

Which is wrong on so many levels. 1) That song was stuck in my head for the rest of the day. 2) I’m not a George Michael fan. But mostly, 3) It is not even Thanksgiving yet, why are we hearing Christmas songs already?!

I shouldn’t have been surprised, I started seeing red and green stuff mixed in with the orange and black back in October.

So, what if every holiday were like Christmas these days? What if every holiday started 2 months ahead of its schedule?

First of all, we could mark Valentine’s Day on New Year’s Eve. I think single folks everywhere might get on board with this one. Less pressure to find a date for one night, so less stress about New Year’s kisses and February 14th plans. Done.

And I don’t think anyone who would be drinking green beer for St. Patty’s Day would mind an earlier start. Seriously, if you are already on board with drinking green beer, I’m thinking you don’t really care which day this occurs, right?

However, decorating and hiding Easter Eggs in February could pose a problem. Especially if there is snow on the ground.

Fireworks would be less fun if it is too cool in the evening to sit out under the stars on the 4th of May.

But I think Trick or Treating in August would be an improvement. Maybe I would actually like this holiday a little bit more if the walk around the neighborhood were to take place on a nice Summer evening, instead of a cold dreary dampish night two months later. (I still would have issues with the sugar binging anytime.)

And as for Thanksgiving, well, that should really be celebrated every day of the year. Being thankful. Being grateful. Helping others. Family time.

Yes, that is a holiday for every day.

Now, I’m off to watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer…before Thanksgiving.

Sigh.

Deliver. — Put the Giving Back in the Thanks.

Tonight during a meeting, I watched as my friend took a phone call and jotted down some directions.

I leaned over, took a look and recognized some of the street names, so I whispered, “I’ll help.”

At the end of the meeting, we loaded a box into the back of my car.

A box containing all of the trimmings of a Thanksgiving Day dinner.

A turkey. A bag of potatoes. Cans of corn and green beans. Rolls. Stuffing.

A Thanksgiving Day dinner complete with a pumpkin pie.

I got in my car, turned the heat on to high, turned on the light and checked the address and directions one more time.

As I drove, many thoughts raced through my mind. Thinking about the meeting tonight. Thoughts about the great birthday weekend I had. Recalling the wonderful family dinner I enjoyed this evening.

Then the typical think about what-I-did-today list. Then I started counting off the what-I-have-to-do-when-I-get-home list. Followed soon after by the what-I-need-to-do-tomorrow list.

Suddenly, I realized I had been driving longer than I thought I would be. Did I miss it?

Nope. Here it is. A right here. A left here. I had no idea this neighborhood even existed in my little town. I have lived here forever, how do I not know this street was here? One more right. First house on the right. There.

The porch light was on. As I pulled into the driveway, a young man came out to greet me.

“Hi. Are you Mr. R? Good evening. I have a Thanksgiving dinner for you.”

“Yes. Thank you so much.”

I opened the hatch on the trunk and lifted the box out to hand to him. Even though I was talking to a grown man with a family ,the Momma in me couldn’t resist to remind him to put the turkey in the freezer. 

I’m sure he was thinking, “Well, Duh!” But he was kind and polite enough not to say that out loud.

Instead he simply said again, “Thank you so much.”

“Absolutely. You are very welcome. Have a Happy Thanksgiving with your family.”

And that was it.

Five minutes of driving. Thirty seconds of small talk. One box full of a Thanksgiving dinner. Delivered.

And as I got back into my car and backed slowly and carefully out of their driveway, I realized I was crying.

Crying for all that I have. Crying for all they must not have. Crying for all of the people that came together to make this dinner happen. Crying for all of those who won’t have someone show up at 8:00 p.m. on a Sunday to deliver a box of dinner.  Crying for the neighbors who may have just as much need, who just didn’t know or weren’t connected or referred or who didn’t sign up.

There is so much need.

For help. For giving.

This Thanksgiving, This Christmas. This season.

This year. Next year.

Every. Single. Day. 

Let’s all teach our children to be thankful and to be giving. 

Let’s all remember that a few minutes of giving here can mean a world of thankfulness there.

Let’s all really focus on putting the Giving back into the Thanks.

Let’s all, Go. Do that.

Every. Single. Day.

Mildew. — Why I’m Dreading Holiday Decorating.

It is November 7th. And I am trying to be thankful.  Thankful for mildew. 

Yes. Mildew.

A few weeks ago, I went to the crawl space under the house to retrieve the Halloween and fall decorations we have stored there. I love this time of year. Not so much Halloween, I just fake that for the kiddos. But I love the fall colors. The oranges and maroons, the leaves. The pumpkins and scarecrows, the golds of it all.

So, I went under the house, ducking under the beams, walking like a hunchback. Until I found the three plastic tubs of fall decorations and dragged them out into the sunlight.

As soon as I carried them inside, the kiddos started pulling stuff out, knowing where it all goes. The leaf garland on the mantle. The little straw scarecrows on the bookshelf. The pumpkin lights in the living room. The spider bowl in the kitchen.

“Slow Down.” “Take your time.” “Be careful!” “Don’t drop that!” “Walk. Walk. WALK!”

I started looking around, seeing the browns and golds and oranges and maroons and smiled.

And just as I was starting to feel that “Fall is in the air” spirit, that is when it happened.

I smelled it. Within just a few minutes,  I smelled that sickened, sweetgross smell of … mildew.

I vaguely remember that Felix mentioned in passing that the crawl space was damp. But I’m sure I wasn’t really listening.

But. He was right. Yep, the damp mild temps of summer has created the opportunity for mildew.

On my stuff. On my fall stuff. On my decorating stuff.

I am really, really sensitive to that icky smell, and began to go back through the house collecting the spider bowl, the pumpkin lights, the little scarecrows and spiders. Back into the box. And into the garage. All of it.

Everything except for the plastic pumpkins that the kiddos carry for trick or treating. Mildewy.

I have to admit that I am a little sad that I am going to have to throw most of these things away.

Nothing that was too valuable,  mind you. Everything that can be replaced. I just can’t have any of it in my house anymore.

But what makes me even more sad, is the realization that all of my Christmas decorations are down there, too.

Along with the tubs of yearbooks and high school memorabilia.

And even though I know in the big scheme of things, it is not that big of a deal. 

I am still a little sad to throw the little scarecrows in the garbage.

The big ones get to stay outside now.

The good thing is that I cleaned out and downsized some of the Fall Decoration boxes.

But I’m really dreading to see what is inside the green and red boxes.

Oy.

Prompt. — MommyVerb’s First Guest Blogger: Y!

It’s Valentine’s Day, so write an ode to someone or something you love.  (Daily Post writing prompt)

We, here at MommyVerbs, are very excited to introduce our very first guest blogger! It just so happens, she just brought home a writing prompt of her very own that matched perfectly with the WordPress writing assignment of the day.

You know her already, folks. But here, for the first time, in her very own words is …. Y!

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“My laptop is special to me. I got my laptop for Christmas. It is special to me because if I’m bored, if it is charged, I will play on it. And me and my Mom can have Mom and Daughter laptop time. On a long car ride, I can play on it. If I need to know something and my parents don’t know, I can look on Google. My laptop is red. I put star stickers, heart stickers and diamonds on it. If my Grandma is out of town, I can Skype with her. Skype is like calling someone only you can see them. That is why I like my laptop.”

http://instagr.am/p/VulslIJN-b/

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(Her 2nd grade teacher sent this to me. The writing prompt was “Write about someone or something you love.” She didn’t choose her Mom or Dad or brother to write about. She knows we know she loves us. Instead, she chose to write about her laptop. I love that about her. She’s got a practical side that I find so endearing!

Light. — Reflecting on the Light-ness of Being…

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/just-do-it/#more-12602

“Just do it”, Krista of WordPress says. Write and post every day for one week. Easier said then done for this busy Momma.  I just made a blogging faux pas, hitting the publish button way too soon, way before I was even finished with a thought. Silly me, I was trying to write and engage in action here with two kiddos during what I thought was a quiet Christmas morning moment…that is when the “Mommy, can you get me’s” started. 🙂 

Here is what I meant to say:

I am currently very aware of light.

It started a few weeks ago when I moved into a new office. My space had been in the basement of an old building circa 1929. It was fine. Nothing fancy. Packed to the hilt with things I need and didn’t need to do my work. No windows of course, but I hung an old window frame leftover from my brother in law’s house remodel many years ago. Painted blue.  I’m a snob about flourescent lights as they have always bothered me, so I always left those off and instead used four different lamps in the four corners of my little ‘luxury box’.

Now. Now, I’m in a new space that is flooded by glorious, glorious natural light. Tall windows that give off a skylight feel. I have come to realize in the past two weeks just how much light can affect everything.

http://instagr.am/p/TqdIVCpN0C/

And when I leave the office, I am surrounded by the festival of lights at Christmas time.  I enjoy putting the lights in our windows at home. Two little Christmas trees on the front porch. The tree in the living room.  I love sitting there, late at night, with the rest of the lights in the house out except for the tree.  This equals peace to me.

http://instagr.am/p/TqdRGrJN0T/

This year, however, I couldn’t find clear lights for the tree anywhere and had to use color lights instead. I have to say, while still pretty, it wasn’t the same. X and Y enjoyed it, but it felt a little busy to me. I missed the clear lighted peace.  I’ll plan ahead for next year.

Seems I am a little snobby about my Christmas lights, too.

Our neighbors go all out each year, putting up lights on their house and on every tree in their yard. And while I cannot imagine my ever doing this, because it looks like a LOT of work to me, I still am so thankful that they do it and I enjoy my own personal light show each December.  

http://instagr.am/p/TqdgrNJN0e/

A few weeks ago, we went on a cruise and I was so thankful for a cabin with a window. The light that poured through the small (good size considering) window made such a difference in making the room feel bigger, the air seem fresher (without being able to open it) and gave us a literal window on the world. The sunlight floated into the room in the morning, waking everyone early against the gentle rocking of the ship. It was such a lovely addition to the whole experience.

http://instagr.am/p/Tqd4dYJN1G/

And a different kind of light:

While on this trip, we made our way through multiple airports and since we were traveling with little people who seemed to need a lot of stuff, we had the experience of checking two suitcases.  On the flight south, the airline allowed 50 pound suitcases without penalty.  I packed the suitcases very carefully and met that requirement to the pound and was … quite pleased with myself.  However, on the flight north, on a different airline, the limit was 40 pounds and after that there was a $50 charge.  Little did the airline employee know, the challenge she had issued me. I packed and repacked the suitcases and bags three times before being able to lighten the load of the two suitcases being checked.  And I finally succeeded in lightening the two bags and off they went down the conveyor belt.

Of course, my load wasn’t lightened much as I inevitably was now carrying 10 more pounds!

http://instagr.am/p/TqeGnMpN1W/

Then last night’s Candlelight ceremony, while singing “Silent Night” was the epitome of peaceful Christmas scenes.

I was a little concerned with just how excited X was with ‘holding his own fire’ — it seems he may have inherited his father’s pyromaniac tendencies. 🙂 Will keep an eye on that for sure.

http://instagr.am/p/Tqc49KJNzw/

Enjoy the lights of the season, while you can, before folks start taking them down.

Makes me think that maybe leaving lights on your house all year long, isn’t a bad thing after all.

Merry Christmas, Everyone.

Leap. — The kind that takes that little thing called Faith.

There is a little church. In a little town. That lives in an old furniture building.

But this little church in this little town is doing big things.

This little church in this little town in an old furniture building is busy…. meeting need.

I heard someone say today that this little church doesn’t care about stained glass or stains on the carpet. They care about the community. The people. The need. They are focused on doing the work of Loving God and Loving People.

It is so true.

A few weeks ago, on the day I went gleaning with my family, just before Thanksgiving, I answered a call to help this little church. To help meet need in our community.

A call to help lead a project for the food pantry that lives in the little church. An Angel Tree to support the children of the families who attend the food pantry each week in this little church.

I had no idea what I was doing. I just felt the need to help. Like it was my turn to give back. My turn to be thankful for good news and many blessings. My turn to pay it forward. Truth be known. I’ve done some praying this year. I’ve done some soul searching this year. I’ve even done my share of bargaining. It felt like it was my time. My time to do something for this little church.

At the same time, since it was coming on Christmas, my X and Y were starting to get some bad cases of the “IWants” and this felt like a good way to model thankfulness, graciousness and generosity. Things that we value and want them to know and live. This would be a perfect way to do all of these things.

I said. “YES. I will help.”

I can organize this. There will be others to help, right?! Ok. Should probably be about 60 kids or so? Sure. So I drafted some forms. Emailed them out.

But then, on the first night out of three, we collected over 60 names of children who needed our help to make this Christmas, a merry one.

Oh dear. And that is the moment that I started to get nervous. We still had two more nights to collect names. How big can this get? How is this going to work? Will we be able to get enough people to ‘adopt’ children and purchase presents? How will we get these gifts to the children?

I kept telling myself. Don’t panic. Don’t fret. It will all work out.

Don’t panic. Don’t fret. It will all work out. (and repeat.)

But. There was a part of me that was a little concerned, a little worried, that this could all blow up. Somebody’s going to get their feelings hurt. Kids wouldn’t get adopted. Presents wouldn’t get returned on time. What presents we did have, we would spend hours and hours driving all over kingdom come to deliver presents. The list goes on.

On the second night out of three, the number of ‘angels’ on the tree jumped to 100+.

Don’t panic. Don’t fret. It will all work out.

By the third night, the number was close to 140.

Don’t panic. Don’t fret. It will all work out.

Again,  I said, “Ok. Yes. We can do this. Yes.” And when I stopped and looked at the stack of handwritten papers, describing interests and clothing sizes and most wanted presents, I realized that I wasn’t panicked. I wasn’t spending countless hours fretting. I really thought this will certainly all work out. I just wasn’t sure how.

We made paper angels for the tree. That makes them seem fancy…They were just tags, with the child’s information. Yes, Handwritten. Every. Single. One. Next year, we will be more sophisticated with Excel spreadsheets and merge forms or something. Better. Different.

By the beginning of December, there were about 140 angel tags attached to a large Christmas tree in the celebration room. I made a plea to the people of this little church. I didn’t intend it to be, but it turned out to be a tearful one. I encouraged folks to be intentional. Do good. Be intentional to give and do good. I talked about my family and our summer and our intentional efforts to spend time together and do good for others. I challenged everyone to do the same. I invited them to take tags, shop for children, wrap the presents, attach the tag and return the present in two weeks.

One hour later, by the end of the service in this little church that is focused on meeting the needs in this little town, the tags were almost all gone. Only about 15 remained. Ah. May. Zing. That many people, in this little church, were motivated to take care of other people’s children. And before I could begin to worry about what we would do with those 15 left on the tree, a volunteer took them to a local business where they were all adopted.

“Shew!”, I thought. I can breathe easy now. Together, a few of us even figured out a brilliant distribution venue and it was rolling. People will come to the community dinner, have a meal, pick up presents and food pantry goodness.

But this little church is different.  Here is where this little church kicks it up a notch. This little church, that lives in an old furniture store, has people in it, who weren’t satisfied with this. They were open to and wanted to help more. I swear every time I turned around, someone was handing me more forms, or names of children or lists of wants and needs.

I have to admit. In my head, I was screaming. STOP! No more. We can’t support anymore. Seriously, people. This is the most we can do. Maybe next year. Enough!

Two weeks later, it was time for the presents to be returned to the church. I couldn’t believe the amount of presents that were there. For a while, I had a sense of calm. This is going to work out. This is going to be ok and kiddos in this area are going to take these presents home and have a Merry Christmas.
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http://instagr.am/p/Tm90nNpN5K/

And, no time to celebrate success, because the people in this little church kept collecting names of people in need. Stop! Enough! We can’t help everyone this year!

Finally, it was time for the community dinner. We set up that brilliant warehouse distribution system. People check in at the front desk. If they have a child or children on the angel tree, they get a number on a green card. They walk to the back and hand the number to me. Someone puts a checkmark by their name. I have helpers that went and found the gift by the number and handed off to the parent. We even had folks willing to help carry items out to the car… With a Merry Christmas! and … off they went.

That’s when I started to receive the gift that comes with service (and my own semi-faith) like this. I saw it. I felt it. The graciousness. The thankfulness. The generosity. The overwhelming “This is all for my child?!” feeling.

Then there is my X and Y, who watched and helped. They carried presents. They organized cards. They help check people in. Y was a little frustrated at first that she didn’t get turkey at the community dinner, not because they ran out, but because we just missed it we were so busy. But she soon understood that maybe the people that DID get dinner, maybe DID NOT have a house with a full pantry, a full freezer and a full refrigerator.  She got it.  YES.

More yes. While the presents were going out the door, names and needs were still coming in.  Every time a need arose, there was a miraculous random offer of help, almost immediately. The total number of children whose Christmas Tree base will be just a little bit more full, rose to at least 170 as of this morning.

Even today, on Christmas Eve Eve, I spent 2 hours shopping for 5 kiddos, after several parents called this morning stating their needs.

I was no longer saying, “Stop. Enough. We can’t help anymore.”

I was saying…Yes. This little church, in this little town is doing big things. And the people in this little church have amazingly big hearts and enough faith to share with me and many, many others who…need.

I want to be a part of that. I want that kind of faith.

Merry Christmas Everyone.  I challenge you to say “Yes”…just a little more. See what happens.