On days like today, on weeks like this week, I struggle as a parent. I struggle with so many emotions. I pivot between fear and terror for my family’s safety. I feel overwhelmed with empathy and sympathy for all of those whose lives have changed forever. There’s even a part of me that wants to mourn for the world that I am raising my children up in right now.
But I am the Momma. I have to show up. I have to search.
I have to search for the humanity. I have to strive to find the good. I have to seek out the helpers.
For they are the real superheroes.
It is a hard balance for me. I hear the news of violence and my first response is always, “I want to go home.” No matter where I am, no matter what my job is at the time … I just want to be home with my family. I want to be home with my family and see to their safety. Whatever happens, I want us to be together.
But I am the Momma. I can be afraid, but I can’t let my kiddos see the whole of my fear. I can’t hide it, because to hide it implies that it is not okay. Besides, they can see it. Kids always can. I want them to know that fear is real and I want them to know how to handle fear in a healthy way.
It is okay to cry for the pain of others. It is okay to be empathetic and sympathetic for those who have lost someone or something. It is okay to want to help.
It is okay to feel afraid sometimes. It is not okay to be so scared that you don’t live your life, that you don’t show up.
But I am the Momma. So, my job is to show up and teach. I have to teach them to feel the feelings and look for the helpers, too. I have to teach them that the helpers are the real superheroes. To focus on them, before they see the fear.
Today, people ran 26.2 miles. Then they turned around and ran more steps toward those who needed their help. While some were running away, there were many, many more running towards the chaos … to help. To help others. Climbing over fences. Tearing them down to help. Later, running to the hospitals to donate blood.
These helpers are the real superheroes. They were there. They showed up.
But I am the Momma. And I want my kiddos to know the helpers. More than the fear. Because there are always helpers.
First responders, some in uniform, others in running shoes, some like you and me. Responders who are there. People who value others, who put the fear aside and look for ways to help. People who show up.
The Momma. The Daddy. The sister and brother. The friend. Those who showed up to cheer on a loved one doing an amazing thing. Now doing an amazing thing themselves to help others. Being the real superheroes.
Then there are fire fighters who run into smoke and chaos.
The medical personnel who put themselves in harm’s way to provide aide.
The law enforcement who do what has to be done to ensure safety and create calm.
But I am the Momma. And I still don’t know why this happens. I will never understand this kind of random violence.
I believe that real superheroes wear green capes. They make good things happen.
Real superheroes show up. They help.
I am the Momma. My job is to look for the helpers, for they are the real superheroes.
I am the Momma. My job is to help my children know the helpers and the heroes, before they know the fear.
mommyverbs 
Reblogged this on Memoirs of a Mom Who Ticks and commented:
I was JUST writing a post like this. She said it better.
Thanks for sharing. It is a tough balance. To be the Momma on days like today. To keep the fear at bay and cook the dinner and push the green beans. To do the baths and brush the teeth. To keep the news, the noise, the images out of their reach. To tuck in just a little bit tighter tonight. I think all the Mommas are feeling this way tonight. Much love to you and yours. ❤
That Mr. Rogers quote is on my FB status right now! Love it. I hate that the thought that I’ve ever brought kids into a shitty world crosses my mind too, but it does. Then I see others around me raising pretty good kids as I’m trying to do, and think that maybe one day the good kids will grow up to be good adults and there will be enough of them to make a difference. Here’s hopin!
They WILL be the helpers…and the heroes. Because they have to be. Because we are the Mommas and the Daddies and the families that will help them see the good in others before they see the fear. It really is the only hope. Know this: YOU are doing a good job. Let’s All Go, Do that!
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Good Mommas are the Superheroes for their children. Thanks for being such a good Momma.
Thank you. I learned from the best. Love you.
Run. Run toward those who need help. When an old guy trips and falls on the library stairs, don’t stop to ask if it would be a good idea to offer help or not. This post really hit this Momma hard. My kids are grown and so are my grandkids, mostly, but I’m not off the hook. Because hard things still happen for them and I. Am. The. Momma.
Thanks for a great post.
Thanks so much. Hard things do happen, but this Momma has to believe that we CAN do hard things. And we will always be the Mommas. No matter THEIR ages. Much love to you and yours.
Momma Bear. Awesome. We are all Momma Bears…we don’t stop because our children are grown or our grandchildren live somewhere else. We are Momma Bears for all children – of any age. That’s why we want to go home when something happens; that’s why we run to help if we find ourselves in a situation which calls out for our assistance. Beautifully written…as usual.
Home calls to us when we need it, doesn’t it? Thanks again for … showing up.
Nice take on such a tragic situation.
Thank you. Sometimes it is hard to be the Momma when things are scary. I know you get it.
Momma, you are a superhero. You squish the nasties out of the dark of night. You kiss the boo boos, you run to the sound of pain no matter what else is going on. You have super powers too. You can cook dinner, stop fights, run a bath, and help with homework all at the same time. You are a SUPERHERO.
Thank you so, so much for that! As parents, we all put our capes on each morning and … leap over buildings made of Legos and race around like trains…wait, that’s not quite right… It is hard work. But we can do hard things.
I totally love your comment here. Can I add that verbatim to my resume’?! 🙂
Of course!
No capes!
Look. For the Heroes – so right. I did that with my kids, too. And mostly, heroes are ordinary people doing extraordinary things – like HELPING. Great post!
Thanks! We always have the opportunity to help others. Even when it is hard. YOU are a superhero, too. Being a good parent, teaching and modeling resiliency and compassion. It’s extraordinary work! Well done, you.
[…] the lost. For the missing. For the rescuers. For the helpers. For the searchers. For the hurt. For the injured. For the survivors. For the changed. For the […]