mommyverbs

Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Wear. — A Mom Wins the Tug of War By Not Picking Up the Rope.

on October 5, 2013

Hi. My name is Sharon. I’m a Mom with two kiddos.

And it is true. I let my kids wear whatever they want.

(Waiting for the gasps from the fashionista police.)

Yes. I let them pick out their clothes.

I only have two rules:

1) It has to actually fit them.

2) It has to be appropriate for the weather.

Ok. There is a third rule too, the MVP rule. But this is reserved for special occasions and only invoked on school picture days or weddings or something like that. MVP=Mom Veto Power.

Other than that, it is a free square for them.

And a free square it is.

You see, I spent a year fighting this with the girl child when she was three.

All of  a sudden, she turned three and she had all of these opinions. They came out of nowhere and she no longer was the compliant child that I knew and loved. She didn’t want to put on the cute little sundress that I had laid out for her to wear. NO! She wanted to wear what she wanted and fought against the conformity of society’s expectations of say, matching or even complimentary colors.

She didn’t care if her socks match. She hated jeans. She wanted to wear the same shirt over and over. With flip flops.

Our mornings were filled with much yelling and crying and stomping off along with some gnashing of teeth.

And then one morning, I decided that was enough. Enough with the dreading the time of getting dressed.  Enough with the cajoling and bribing and arguing. Enough with the crying and tears and stomping off to our rooms. (That was her, not me….most of the time.)

This battle of wills, this power struggle, this tug of war never has to happen if I just don’t pick up the rope.

If I don’t let mis-matched socks, clashing colors, or bizarre layering draw me into an argument.

I chose just to let her wear what she wants.

Some days it is cute. Some days, it borders on just a little weird.

Some things are a phase. Some have become part of a signature style.

But I can say this. Our mornings are so much calmer. So much quieter. So much more fun.

The boy-child has now started to have just as many opinions about clothes as the girl-child. He doesn’t like pants or shirts with buttons anymore. He is newly obsessed with camouflage and thinks it should be worn daily. He thinks superhero t-shirts go with anything. (Ok, I might have to agree that is probably true.)

But he also has taken a liking lately to wearing his Daddy’s triathlon socks. Yes. To school.

Yes. Those are the heels of his Daddy’s socks sticking out from the back of his legs.

And yes. I have heard from several teachers at his school that they do a double take when he walks by. But then again, he’s so cute, I can totally understand that.

x socks

My advice: Let them wear what they want.

Brought to you by another Mom who chose not to battle this one by just not picking up the rope anymore.

Nope. Instead, I pick up my camera and post pictures on facebook. So we  can all enjoy the creative madness that is my children’s sense of style and fashion.

Happy Kids + Calm Mornings + A Good Giggle = A Mom Win.

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10 responses to “Wear. — A Mom Wins the Tug of War By Not Picking Up the Rope.

  1. Jan says:

    BRILLIANT!!!! You are a wise mommy!

  2. Lori says:

    This is perfect! Because I love dressing my boy. Because he’s 3 now. Because, for now, we are happy to compromise with each other (yes, you can wear what you want at home, but mommy picks out “going out” clothes…but, yes, you can pick out your t-shirt to wear underneath). Because change is on the air. Because our compromises are probably almost over….So, maybe I’ll take your advice…though probably not without a few battles of my own :). Luckily I have another itty bitty to dress for a few more years!!

  3. Those photos will come in handy some day, like weddings…or when you have to blackmail them so they don’t put you in a home…or just for fun!

  4. Carole says:

    I could have wrote the same words…

    • MommyVerbs says:

      I’m sure many of us Mommas can relate! I’ve always loved to see the kids who are out in the stores in July on a super hot day with rain boots on and superhero capes. I smile at the Momma and we know. We know. 🙂

  5. blowingoffsteamandmore says:

    Ditto here! Too much time wasted battling about clothing. It’s just not worth the fight and isn’t it cool these days to be mismatched anyway? Good for you!

  6. OneMinuteAtATime says:

    Represented – That is what I like to say. I love to see the combos that she comes up with and would absolutely love to know her motivation. =D One day we went grocery shopping in a red shirt, camo shorts and a pink tutu over top. The two different crocks made me cringe but hey……so off we went as she danced down the isles of food and caught all the bad guys. =D

    • MommyVerbs says:

      I love this! I marvel at the creativity and kinda wish she could put together a few outfits for me! I have a few bad guys I’d like taken care of! 🙂 So. Awesome!

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