Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Marry. — The Mantra Still Works…14 Years Later

on September 18, 2013

The night before Felix and I were to be married, there was a task that needed to be done.  A task neither one of us wanted to do. In retrospect, 14 years later, it was SO not a big deal. But at the end of a few very long days that included running away from a hurricane and all of the preparations that go into a wedding and ceremony where we did most of the planning and preparation ourselves…the task seemed monumental and overwhelming.

I begged Felix to take care of it for me. He clearly didn’t want to and had his own valid reasons. Exasperated, I finally looked at him and said, ….

“Be nice and do what I say.”

I can’t remember if we laughed about it then,  because I’m sure it felt a little like an argument at the time.  But over the years, it has become the motto of our marriage. A mantra of sorts. A phrase that shows up to end silly arguments and discussions to this day.

Be nice and do what I say. 

Now that I reflect back on our vows, I wish we had just said these words:  “I love you. Be nice and do what I say. You may now kiss the bride.”  It would certainly have been surprising to all of the wedding guests that got all dressed up and brought presents for the big day.  But I think they might have all appreciated the short ceremony, so they could get right to the real party and celebrations… and … dancing!

I love you. Be nice and do what I say.”  Simple, yet powerful. “Be nice” … act in such a way that will make the other person feel good. Another way of saying this: Just don’t be mean.  Be intentionally… nice. Think before you speak. Know how something will impact your loved one. “Do what I say“ each other. Listen to requests. Do the things that the one you love hates to do. Try to make the other person happy.

These are not hard concepts.

And may be the secret to a long, happy marriage.

On the eve of our 14th wedding anniversary, I’d like to say…

To my best friend/partner/hubby, aka Fix-it Felix:

I love the way you appreciate a warmed bed and a warmed towel.

I love your waking up noises in the mornings.

I love that you pack healthy lunches and snacks for the kiddos and make yummy dinners for us all.

I love your entrepreneurial ways.

I love that we are equal partners in the Family Chore Wars.

I love that you do try to fix things…most of the time.

I love the way you love me. 

I love the way you love us. 

I love the way you love ours. 

Happy 14th Anniversary, Babe.

Now, Go. Be nice and do what I say.



4 responses to “Marry. — The Mantra Still Works…14 Years Later

  1. Jan Francis says:

    Awww how sweet! Happy Anniversary to two of my very favorite people in all the world and thanks for making those two amazing grandkids! 🙂 Your wedding reception is still one of legends and lis remembered by everyone who was there. What a party! 🙂

  2. rarasaur says:

    How sweet!! Happy anniversary! 😀

  3. […] Marry. – The Mantra Still Works…14 Years Later ( […]

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