mommyverbs

Engaging Each Day with Action Words

List. — Yesterday, I was checking it twice. Today, I let it go.

on April 5, 2013

Yesterday, I woke up in a mood. Not a particularly bad one. Just a  mood. It happens. For no particular reason, really.

But before I knew it, I was keeping a mental list of all of the people and things that I was mad at or who had disappointed me over the past year.

For the first time in 40 years, I felt like I was giving myself permission to really be mad at people.  To be disappointed in others’ decisions or actions or inactions, without first trying to figure out if I did anything first to make them mad.

Yesterday, I just didn’t care.  Shocking, I know. 🙂

Because for the past 40 years, my inherent senses of empathy and sympathy have always forced me to try to put myself in someone else’s shoes. I’ve always tried to see a situation through another person’s viewpoint. Tried to understand the others’ perspective. So, even though I felt disappointed or frustrated, I have always tried to understand why a person did or didn’t behave in a certain way.  Often, even discounting or explaining away my own hurt,  by coming to some conclusion about my own failure to act or how I could have been misunderstood somehow.

And I wonder why I’m so exhausted all of the time. 🙂

Here’s the thing. I’m fairly certain that most of these people and random situations on my list do not consider my feelings or try to understand my perspective when they evaluate their own hurts.

(Hmmm. Maybe they do. I have a lot of good people and things in my world.) walk in shoes But yesterday. I gave myself permission to be mad at people and situations. And I have to say it was a little bit liberating…and a whole lot of fun, too.

I grabbed lunch with a good friend and confidentially shared my list with her. I have to say that was one of the best times we have both had recently. Complete unabashed honesty. No excuses. No rationalizations. We didn’t try to make it pretty.  Because when you are in the company of a good friend, they can take all the ugly and make it funny.

We told stories. We complained. We marveled at the absurdities of it all sometimes.  We felt free to curse a little like the proverbial sailors* we hear so much about. *I only know one sailor and he doesn’t really curse all that much.*  🙂

And. Oh My. How We Laughed.

Because Life is messy and complicated.

People are different.

Conflict happens.

It is not always their fault. And it certainly is not always my fault either.

Every now and then, we need to give ourselves permission to declare that.

Keep a list.

But the most important part is to be able to ….

… Laugh.

And….

Let. It. Go.

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4 responses to “List. — Yesterday, I was checking it twice. Today, I let it go.

  1. Lead Our Lives says:

    Great friends are treasures. Wonderful post!

  2. Amy says:

    My boys and I have a saying “tie it to a balloon and let it go.” Sometimes that is just harder to do than it should be. Lovely post.Thank you.

  3. 43fitness says:

    So nice to have a chick who’s got your back. Sometimes you just need to vent and it beomes all better 🙂

  4. Love this, especially the first two paragraphs–made me smile widely and chuckle 🙂 Good for you!

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