Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Counsel. — 5 Reasons I Chose Not to Go To Therapy.

on March 27, 2013

Raise your hand if you can relate to this sentence:

“Sometimes … I feel overwhelmed.”

Ok. Put your hands down.

So, I spent a little time the past couple of days wallowing around in the overwhelm-i-ness of life. It happens, even to the best of us. So much so, that after a conversation with a friend over lunch, she sent me the name and number of her therapist.  Now before you all get worried and start calling to check on me…All is well. And truth be told, I asked her to do this because I was starting to look around for someone I could tell all of my ‘ugly stuff’.  I know enough to know, that ugly thoughts can lead to ugly actions, which is what I was really trying to avoid. And I don’t know, I can’t tell ‘ugly stuff’ to people that I see everyday, even if they are good friends, because I worry,  in case they might get all Judgey McJudgerson on me. Even if they love me and don’t mean to. Of course, I’m probably projecting…

So, I picked up the phone twice to call and make an appointment.  But, here’s what stopped me:

1. Time. I don’t have time to see a therapist. I kept looking at my calendar trying to figure out when I would find a whole hour during a day just to talk. To a stranger. Then there is the driving there and the driving back and… you get the idea.

2. Urgency. If I want to talk to someone, I probably want to do it …Right. Now. Because in two weeks, or whenever I can get an appointment, I will have either moved on or forgotten what has me spinning … Right. Now.

3. Paperwork. Insurance cards and forms and co-pays, Oh My!  Just the words make me start to twitch.  I don’t like  hate dealing with that grown up world. That’s what I have Felix for.

4. Co-Pays. *twitch* They are going to make me pay them money, aren’t they?

5. Background. Oy. This makes me tired. My stories are usually long and they have lots of back stories and side stories and cross-check connections. I feel like I would have to draw some pictures along with a timeline and then create diagrams to make it all make sense to anyone who a) doesn’t know me well or b) isn’t me. That seems like a lot of work and people who draw pictures to explain themselves — as if I couldn’t understand their words alone — usually annoy me. I don’t want to be THAT person. 🙂

So, instead…

I texted a lifelong friend and made an appointment with her to chat after kiddo bedtimes. We each poured a glass of wine and enjoyed it together even though we are 7 hours apart.

And we talked. Well, I talked. She listened. I ugly cried. She listened. I said the ugly things that I have been thinking. She listened. Then she said magical words that flipped all of the ugly, into something that made sense. Because that is what my friends do for me.

There was no paperwork. There was no co-pay.  There was no background-building since she’s known me for 33 years. More importantly, there was no judgement.

Of course, I’m puffy-eyed this morning.

But I feel so … much … better.

All in all…..

Friend Therapy:  Highly Recommended.[Love-Heart]-Keep-Calm-And-Call-Your-Best-Friend-

Just so you know, if you need to talk and your best friends can’t say magical things…

then keep calm and call your therapist.  Co-pay or not. ❤


9 responses to “Counsel. — 5 Reasons I Chose Not to Go To Therapy.

  1. Melissa says:

    Call. Anytime. Love you!

  2. krista says:

    You’re all kinds of awesome. I love this!

  3. Lead Our Lives says:

    A beautiful post. A loving tribute to the friends who hold our hearts so softly. We honor each other in that sacred heart space. ❤

    • MommyVerbs says:

      Again. You with your poetry. 🙂 I am honored that you spend time reading and commenting. ❤

      • Lead Our Lives says:

        You are a gifted storyteller. Reading about the experiences of your life reminds me of that period of time in my own; that I so deeply and lovingly appreciate at this point on my life. Thank you. Keep expressing your open and beautiful heart. You never know how the expression of your heart inspires another.

      • MommyVerbs says:

        Thank you. I’ve almost deleted this post several times because it seems so vulnerable and never the image that I like to portray, even though I do try to keep it light. But something keeps stopping me. Maybe it is that…maybe it is the hope it will help someone else.

      • Lead Our Lives says:

        You give others the courage to be themselves; without fear of judgment. You honor your journey and offer courage. Is there any more loving purpose for being here? You touch us all with an honest story like this one. Please don’t delete it and I will continue to look forward to ALL of your posts.

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