Sometimes….
Sometimes I think I might need some therapy. But I don’t have time. Seriously, where would I fit it in to the day?
Sometimes I think I might need medication. But I don’t want to be responsible for one. more. thing.
Sometimes I think I might need to run away and hide. But I don’t want to deal with the guilt I would have when I came back.
So, if therapy, medication and escapes are out…what is left? 🙂
Crying.
Just uninhibited, uncontrolled, unapologetic … crying.
I am not sure how many people will ‘get’ this. Not sure how many will really understand.
It shows up first in my voice. When I am talking with someone who I trust and confide in. Usually my Mom can hear it. I will start by saying that it is just because I am tired and ‘I’m fine.” But what I really want to do is just cry. I can’t really explain it well. And if you don’t get it, you just don’t. And most likely you are going to say something that … doesn’t help…because you don’t get it. So, my suggestion is just. not. to. speak. You can try to hug me. Try to make me laugh. Or preferably, just let me be.
Because my little secret is this…it is cathartic. I don’t enjoy it necessarily in the moment, but I tend to feel better afterwards.
The crying is not necessarily for any particular reason, really. Sometimes, maybe. But usually I’m not really sad. I might be overwhelmed. I might be exhausted. Sometimes I’m frustrated. But really…rarely, sad.
I am lucky. I am blessed. Beyond measure. I know this. Beyond the shadow of a doubt. I have nothing to be sad about. Until I do.
My eyes might tear up easily. I get a rock in my stomach. And I can usually keep it at bay for a little while. Until I can’t.
And then I cry.
I am thinking that I may need to be proactive. Like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. She unplugs the phone. Sits still. Focuses. And then just cries. She does it everyday. No matter where she is. No matter what she’s doing. She just cries. Gets it out. The overwhelmingness of life. The senseless stuff of the news. The sadness. The frustrations. The failures. The successes. The worries. The fears. The crazy. The …. stuff. The stuff we Mommas carry around with us.
Until we don’t.
Until we ….
Just cry.
Just because.
And if you haven’t seen this movie. Please stop what you are doing. And go watch it, now. You will feel better. Just because. Trust me.
mommyverbs 
Crying–is good. Is necessary. Because there is sadness mixed in with the blessings in our lives. We need to feel the sad and the frustrations in order to feel the joy and love in our lives. Crying–should always be unapologetic–never needs an apology. Ever.
You. You are awesome. I totally agree. “Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” Benjamin Disraeli said (or wrote) that. We all need to remember this and never apologize for being a snotty, swollen, tear-stained mess. It is a good thing. 🙂
Hubby learned a long time ago, that when I’m sobbing and he asks “why are you crying?” and I choke out, “I don’t know…” – no sudden moves, don’t walk away and don’t try to figure it out! It won’t end well…for him…. If crying doesn’t work, chocolate does! Chocolate never fails!
It is so nice when you have been with someone long enough that they know to the ‘do’s’ and ‘dont’s’ as it relates to these moments. No sudden moves is good advice. Trying to ‘fix’ it usually marks the beginning of the end for T.
[…] last night. Posts about everyone crying their eyes out. And you know I’m a fan of a good cry, so that made me google to see what was happening. And then I learned the premise of last […]
[…] what will fit and what needs to be replaced. Cleaning up and clearing out is as cathartic as a good cry. The day ended with up with a yummy dinner of crab legs and shrimp and homemade bread sticks. Then […]
[…] to be in love to write a love blog? Is a blog better when it really happened to you? Like “Cry.–Like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News“, where did you write that and who was it about?” Eventually I will say, “I […]
[…] when they search for Holly Hunter’s crying scene, they find themselves in the middle of a bit of a pity party where I describe my urge to cry as a […]
[…] Elaine shot me a link to a blog post about crying like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. […]