mommyverbs

Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Listen. — Shut up and hear someone.

on January 28, 2013

Reflecting on my day, as I do, each evening, I have come to realize that I don’t think I was a very good listener today. Anybody else a little guilty of this? Come on, I’m looking for some misery company here.

Human ear icon

Human ear icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I fuss at the kiddos all the time for not listening to me; for not really paying attention. Now, usually, the not listening on their part comes around some kind of following directions or task…and they are kiddos… with short attention spans and very different agendas than their Momma, so it comes with the territory.

But I’m a grown up, right? I’m an empathic, sensitive person. I should know better, right? But…today, I was chatting with a friend that I used to work with a while back and she started sharing some heartfelt truths. I hadn’t intended on staying for long, but I stopped and thought to myself, ‘stop. listen. practice.’ I wanted to really hear her. She was talking about her frustrations with wellness and nutrition and exercise. These are things I am interested in, things I am learning about; these are things that I want to be able to discuss with folks. And really listen. But I think I did it all wrong. I think I talked too much. I think I shared too much. I think, in my want to help and my intention to focus and think of good things to say…I just didn’t do a very good job of … hearing her, which is kind of the point.

Then later, while sitting with a friend that I adore, I suddenly realized just how much I talk with her. She is the most patient, kind, giving soul that I know and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of ‘bad friend, bad friend.’ She always listens to me. Always. Really, always. And on top of this, gives really excellent advice that I value and take with me. When she says things like, ‘he’s not wrong, instead of ‘he’s right’ … I pay attention. But today, I realized that I haven’t done the same thing for her recently. I feel like I haven’t really listened. Hell, I probably haven’t even given her time to speak. Ugh.

Tomorrow, I will do better. Tomorrow. I will be present. I will focus on the words and I will feel the emotion. I will hear and reflect, before I speak. I will just shut up. Before I respond. I want to hear people and really, really learn to listen. I’m sure it won’t happen overnight, but put it on the intentions board..it is that important.

And maybe, just maybe, I can be a better role model for the kiddos and how they should listen, really listen, the next time I say, “Ok, time for bed!”

Yeah. Let’s All Go, Do That.

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6 responses to “Listen. — Shut up and hear someone.

  1. right with you here! I’m trying too. xxx

  2. […] Listen. – Shut up and hear someone. (mommyverbs.wordpress.com) […]

  3. Lead Our Lives says:

    Good stuff! When we get comfortable with our own being (quiet), we can offer that deep listening to others. Generally, our society feels that all quiet or gaps must be filled and so we dutifully do our part. Listening is what I do…a compassionate listener to my clients. We all want only to be seen and heard for who we are. Takes practice! Best wishes as you practice, practice, practice! So enjoy your stories!

    • MommyVerbs says:

      Thanks. I can tell from your compassion-filled comments that you are indeed a good listener. You pay attention to details which seems to be a lost art for some. Thanks for sharing your kindness. I will keep working on being … Quiet and being … There.

  4. […] Listen. – Shut up and hear someone. (mommyverbs.wordpress.com) […]

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