mommyverbs

Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Fear.– Small Space. Locked Door. ‘Nuff Said.

on January 9, 2013

Here’s the prompt:

You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.

This was an email I read last night before wrapping things up for the evening. We have just moved into a new space in my workplace and we are all learning about our new work environment,  as we go.  I haven’t asked yet, but I’m fairly certain that ‘someone’ learned this little bit of truth the hard way.

“Hello All. Just a “be aware” message for our department. One can lock oneself in the conference room if one shuts the door and inadvertently pushes the lock on the handle! We have placed a request to change this, but in the meantime,      be aware!”

Are you freakin’ kidding me?! Well, this led to a night full of dreams that included me being locked in this conference room (aka a glorified closet) and other small rooms that my subconscious could design. Who knew I was such an architect?! Sometimes there was a small window that I made plans to break and climb out of. Sometimes there was no window and seemingly very little air. Sometimes the ceiling slanted as if it were under some stairs. Sometimes  there was a light switch. Sometimes I seemed to make it a Friday afternoon with a long weekend ahead and before you have time to wonder…it was the one time that I don’t have my cell phone.

It all felt very real in those moments.

So, as it turns out….It is not what is in the room with me…it is the room itself. The room with no way out. The room(s) I can design while I sleep.

Which makes me think….Isn’t that really what fear is?  It isn’t really always the actual object or the dark or the scary monster or the hand that grabs your ankle from under the bed. Egads. It is the feeling of the fear itself, of our own design. That terrible, out of control, irrational emotion that this… could… be… really… bad.

As a Momma, I try to take the fear away for X and Y.

Y, my resident sleep-staller, will occasionally call me in to her room because of random shadows.  Most of the time, had she straightened up her room like I had asked (at least 20 times), things would be where they should be, therefore not causing said random shadows.  But that is for another blog.  She is also terrified of the ADT commercial where the Momma and Daughter walk in on a burglar in their house.  Which by the way, I will totally give her that one, … that is just scary and kind of real and I hate that commercial and have a mind to write a strongly worded letter to ADT to take it off the air, or at least off of the Disney Channels. Shew. Taking a breath now.

I say things like, “Oh, you’re ok. There’s nothing in your closet. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m right here.” And with that, she just has to trust me. Trust me that there isn’t a reason to feel afraid. That there isn’t a monster in the closet.

What I need to remember is that just like me, it isn’t the thing in the room. It is just the room. It is just the fear. And that fear is very real to her. And right then, in that moment, she is just not ok.

Hugs are needed.

And yes, I will ‘be aware’ of that lock on that conference room (closet) door. Always.

But I think I will still carry my cell phone with me. Where. Ever. I. Go.

Just in case.

 

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4 responses to “Fear.– Small Space. Locked Door. ‘Nuff Said.

  1. Jnana Hodson says:

    That’s the first convincing argument I’ve heard for carrying a cellphone.
    My elder daughter can’t understand why I rarely have mine with me — especially when I tell her humanity’s survived all these millennia without them.
    But then, the conference room’s a new concept, too.

    • MommyVerbs says:

      Hahaha…I have since learned that they changed the locks on the conference room door so that this can’t happen anymore. Shew! Thanks for the note. I do try to keep my cell phone with me. It seems whenever I don’t have it, that is when I find I need it.

  2. […] Fear.– Small Space. Locked Door. ‘Nuff Said. « mommyverbs […]

  3. […] Fear.– Small Space. Locked Door. ‘Nuff Said. « mommyverbs […]

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