mommyverbs

Engaging Each Day with Action Words

Grow. — More than some pencil marks on a door frame.

on November 15, 2012

One of the boy-child’s pet peeves is when he discovers that someone younger than him, is actually bigger than him.  You see, to a four year old, getting big is everything.  Getting big means so many things:

You can sleep in a bed without a rail on it to keep you from falling out.

You can reach things you want without having to ask for them.

You can pick out your own clothes and have opinions about them that drive your Momma crazy.

You can get a car seat without the 5 point buckles and just use the God-given ones in the actual seat, like your big sister.

You can go to preschool and think about going to Kindergarten next year.

But the real prize for getting big is….when you are finally tall enough to get past the teenage attendants at Busch Gardens and ride whatever stinkin’ rollercoaster you want to ride!  (Yes, I’m very proud to say that I am raising some awesome rollercoaster ridin’ kiddos! )

But, to my X, big should equal a number. If he is older than someone and then realizes that this…this…kid…this kid who is younger than him by all of three months, is actually physically bigger than him…ugh…he can’t stand it.  It really drives him crazy!  “I should be bigger! I am older than him!”

So, we do what good parents do…we use it against him at the dinner table to get him to eat his vegetables.  “Well, if you want to be bigger than ‘Mark’, you need to eat more!”  HA! Just kidding. Kind of.  No really, of course, we explain that everyone is different and everyone grows differently and…yadda yadda yadda, insert good parenting advice here.

What about other types of growth?  It’s not always about age or height. What about weight? Its true. We want X to eat more, because he kind of is on the smaller side of life and I want to make sure he is getting quality calorie intake daily.

But I don’t want to see that kind of growth on MY scale though.  I will say I am happy to report that I no longer obsess about the number on the scale as I used to.  I am more interested in the number on my deadlift and box squat.  Those numbers have become my new measures of growth.  And that in itself is…growth, ladies and gentlemen.

Ultimately, age isn’t a factor, really. Some assume that if he is older, he should be wiser. Or that she should be in a place of more personal growth and maturity. But we all know that doesn’t always happen.  Because we all know folks around us, that seem to be stuck, stunted in places of the past, not being able to move forward. Acting the same way they acted 10, 15, 20  years ago.

Honestly, I can’t speak for them or explain it or even completely understand it. But I do know that I have grown. And I can say that from this place, I can see it in myself and a little bit in others.  I’m not explaining it well, but here it is.

We need to change.

We need to grow.

We need to adjust.

We need to choose.

And what I have discovered along the way is that this is not automatic. Just because we have a birthday, doesn’t mean we are gifted with more personal wisdom. Just because we make a wish on some candles and have a cake in our honor, doesn’t mean that we learn how to manage raw emotions better or become aware of our bad habits.  Just because we turn a page on a new calendar, doesn’t mean we automatically become aware of how to communicate our feelings in healthier ways.

Age does not equal wisdom. Age does not mean emotional maturity. Age doesn’t even imply growth.

I come back to being intentional.  I’m not saying that I’m a model of personal growth by any means. But…I believe I have had to choose over the years. I have had to reflect on my actions. I have needed to sit on a beach and think about life. I have journaled and scrapbooked and blogged. I have made the time and the opportunity to recognize what I want and where I want to be. I have had to decide what I liked, what worked for me and … consequently  what didn’t.

Then I had to make a change.

That, my friends is growth. And I’m not done yet. There is still work to do, growth yet to happen. And that is cool. That is exciting. That is motivating.

And it has nothing to do with the fact that I am counting down to 40… in … 8 days. Bring it!

So. In MommyVerbs fashion: Grow. Get stronger. Make changes. Choose wisely. (And eat your vegetables!!)

Let’s All, Go. Do that!


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3 responses to “Grow. — More than some pencil marks on a door frame.

  1. […] and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.”  –Herbert Otto  Grow. 7. Someone just pointed out that my 40th is on Black Friday…and she thought it was funny. […]

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