The girl-child has discovered The Brady Bunch. And as much as I am enjoying the opportunity to relive the nostalgia and 70s antics of Greg, Marsha, Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy… I can’t help but think…
I really need an Alice.
Seriously. How awesome is Alice? She’s ah.may.zing. in my book. She always just knew what was needed. Not only did she know…but she often knew before Mr. and Mrs. Brady even knew what they wanted. She anticipated needs. That, my MommyVerbs friends, is a beautiful thing.
The other morning, I came home from the gym at 7:00 a.m. and did what I do to start the coffee pot. Coffee was desperately needed that morning, even after a workout. I stood in the kitchen for what was probably a good 5-7 minutes. And thought, “Good Grief! Why isn’t that coffee going yet?”
At which point I looked over to see that I had never poured the water into the magic part that sucks up the water and makes me my coffee. Yes. The pot was sitting there. Full of water. Warming up, yes. Making coffee, no.
A couple of friends suggested that I need my own staff. Specifically, I need a personal barista. I’m telling you, I think I could get behind this idea. It would be nice to have someone make my coffee for me. Maybe even make some fancy coffee for me. It is not that it is really hard to do. There are just a lot of little steps and sometimes in the morning, I struggle to get them in the right order. (see story above) Considering that my current coffee pot has a broken top that lets coffee steam rise into the air, fogging up the cabinet windows. The handle keeps coming loose and I have to get the best friend/partner/hubby to fix it every couple of days. So, yeah, my own personal barista is a great idea.
Maybe if my coffee pot didn’t look like one of Y’s toy kitchen appliances or like it came from the dollar store, I could get more excited about making coffee. But I really just do the two obligatory cups and move on.
But this got me thinking. Why stop with a barista? What else do I not enjoy doing? What jobs would I be happy to turn over to my … ahem … staff?
My next hire, after the Personal Barista of course, would be a Laundry Officer. Yes. Now we are talking…a person whose sole job is to sort, fold and put away clothes. I don’t mind doing the washing and drying. I mean, come on, the machine really does that work, right. I can handle the laundry IN and laundry OUT … but after that, it doesn’t always make it out of the plastic baskets. (And not for the lack of good intentions of us all. Sometimes we are crazy around here and make announcements to meet in my bedroom for a “Fun Family Sorting Party!” ) That is where the Chief Laundry Officer would come into play. Yes, now they are the Chief. It is that important to me. Simply make the clothes get from the piles of clean clothes into drawers and closets. Beautiful. Then I might be able to sit on that little couch I have in my bedroom that I rarely see and sometimes forget is there and I wouldn’t lose hours of my life searching for socks (I gave up matching a long time ago)!
After that, I would advertise for a Family Chef. Yes. It is true, I do have a pretty awesome cook that lives with me. But I’m sure even he would get behind the idea of having someone else come in, with groceries in hand, to make a lovely, clean-eating, healthy meal. I would hope for a little menu, maybe 2-3 choices, lots of vegetables and lovelies. We could be so much more intentional with our Eat. Well. plan, giving us that much more time to Play. More. Then the absolute best part would be the sitting down to eat. Ok, now this is starting to feel a little dreamy like the dinners on the cruise that time. It is true, the best friend/partner/hubby and I often eat standing up in the kitchen. The kiddos are seated at the bar on one side and we are standing across from them. So, it is kind of like eating around a table. We just seem to find it a bit more efficient as inevitably we have to get up no less than 17 times to retrieve items. Might as well be standing.
So, the Family Chef would help with that. Of course, this person is welcome to bring an assistant with them to clean up afterwards. I’m totally down with that, too.
I would also like to offer a part time job for a Receptacle First Responder. Just someone to be on call to be the one responsible for putting the new trash bag into the trash can after the best friend/partner/hubby takes out the garbage. Of course, they will need to be at the ready at a moment’s notice to make it really worthwhile. I always seem to have an armload of garbage, usually drippy and yucky, in my hands, only to find that, while the garbage bag has been taken out (yeah!), there is no replacement bag in place. Which leads to some under the breath mumbling, the putting down of the armload of gross, and then the replacing of the bag. Seems like a little thing, but if a Receptacle First Responder could be there in a flash, I’d pay big bucks for not having to mumble under my breath and pick up the gross again. Like I said, part-time. Few benefits.
I would also be interested in talking with someone who had particular skills in keeping cars clean and clear of debris and mess. Heck, actually, I would like a Transportation Executive, who is just in charge of getting me and my family from point A to point B safely, in a lovely, calming, environment. I have often said that I could get so much more accomplished during the day if I had a Driver, I mean Transportation Executive. (The red carpet would be bonus!)
What else don’t I like to do?
I’ll keep working on the list of job postings. I’m certain there are more opportunities around here.
Until then, I’ll get back to it — Momma on Duty. Just waiting on my three
employees, I mean, family members, to wake up. There are things to do to get this day started right!
With or without Alice and the rest of my MommyVerbs staff.